I remember vividly..it was a Tuesdsy night.
Peyton and I had gone to visit Rob in rehab and to share some dinner.. There we were.. just two days after my 28th birthday. I was sitting in a rehab facility with my husband who had just undergone brain surgery 8 days prior. My little one was running around exploring the world around her when the Dr. came in.
“..the tumor came back malignant and we have to proceed with extending and future treatment..”
“It’s a grade 3 glioma. These type of tumors like to grow back and are very aggressive..”
My husband and I were frozen. What? What did he just say? What did he say? Cancer? In his brain? More treatment after having emergency brain surgery..and having to recover from that..? What is happening?
The feeling of hopelessness, despair, and emptiness I felt in that moment can’t even be summed up into words. I could feel everything in my chest, tightening. The anxiety and worrying had been shot into overdrive.
My world was hoisted up in the air and came smashing down around me as if I was surrounded by a million glass bottles shattering all at once.
My husband has cancer. My husband has brain cancer. My 34 year old husband was examined, they found a brain tumor, and said it needed to come out.
When they got the results back they informed us it was cancer.. two and a half weeks prior to this we found out our second child was on the way.. 👶🏼
We set out and started our very own retail business back in January. Everything was going just great and we were also being so profitable. We were well on our way to having our own actual brick and mortar location!
Flashback to late October.. the car my husband was using to work crapped out on us. We didn’t have the money to put up to get it fixed. I let him use my brand new car for his ridesharing business.
Oct 25, 10:00 am I find out I am pregnant with our second child..it was an overwhelming sense of joy..
Oct 26, approx 4:00 AM. The car my husband was driving for work gets rushed by a big Buck deer. The car needs around $4k in repairs. Insurance company isn’t covering the claim because it was being used for ridesharing. Ridesharing isn’t covering it because there was no passenger in the car. Back to feeling hopeless, crushed, and defeated.
His mother is so gracious enough to let us use her car so he can continue his work and keep the money flow.
On Halloween we prepare for opening our brick and mortar location and we are ready to sign the lease and paperwork within the next couple days. Feeling super excited and powerful to start taking charge of our own lives.
Nov 1, approx 4:30 PM. My husband kisses me goodbye and leaves to go do his work and support his family. Around 1 AM I message him telling him I’m going to sleep and I love him. He messages back around an hour later saying the same..
5:30 AM I roll over to find my husband is still not in bed with me. I get up. I had to go to the computer because my phone was not charging right. I sign into messenger and I see a message
“I’m at the hospital. I passed out and smashed my face on the concrete. Broke my nose and forehead busted open.”
My heart sank and I was sick to my stomach. What is happening all around me? What is my world coming to? It was one thing after the next it seemed..and it didn’t look like it was stopping there.
They ran tests on him and MRI’s and CT scans
They finally found a spot on his brain they said..
They discovered it was a tumor..
This had caused the seizure he suffered and why he fell and broke his nose.
He had stopped the car and got out because he could feel something was not right. When he stepped out he had the seizure and passed out and woke up in a pool of his own blood. He drove himself to the local ER.
After he had been in the hospital for about 4 days..
Nov 6, I wake up to a phone call being told from a neurosurgeon they were going into my husband’s brain to remove the tumor.
What? First, they found a tumor? Second, they have to take it out? I truly thought it was excessive and maybe not even necessary. (I know right.) I felt so lonely and powerless in that moment.
Nov 12, brain surgery. It took about 4-5 hours but the drs. Were successful in removing it all.
Nov 14, gets sent to rehab.
Nov 18, my 28th birthday I got to spend maybe two hours with my husband.
Nov 20, the day our lives were changed forever.
Through the course of this whole process dealing with the brain surgery, the diagnosis, and the fact I was in my first trimester..I still managed to find hope.
I chose to be grateful and find the positives in my everyday life through this shit storm mess that life has surrounded us with. I am still so overwhelmed.
We honestly don’t know what is going to happen with his treatments or his clinical trial. We can hope for the best and tell ourselves we will beat this but nobody can tell us how much more time we have left together..
Enjoy everyday with your loved ones. You never know what life is going to hit you with..