I am highly stressed out. I just got home from the Dr. for baby bob. He weighs 13 lbs. 2 months old. Little guy is gettin big on us quick. Peyton will be two this Saturday. She’s at the stage where nothing is entertaining and she just wants to get into everything. Every cabinet at the dr.’s office. JUST..NEVER STOPS. Kid is bugging me TF out. I try my best to keep my patience. Every now and again she gets me to snap and raise my voice like a maniac. Such is life. Effing life.
The daily struggle; I can’t explain how hard it is for me to grasp certain concepts of Rob still recovering from his surgery. It’s like..he does something illogical..and I get very impatient and I don’t understand why he would do something like that..and then I have to catch myself and remind myself he is fighting an illness and disease that literally affects his mood, personality, cognitive thinking, decision making, and ultimately everything that he does on a daily basis. I feel like people miss that sometimes, they only see how he is functioning overall, which is great..But I’m with him everyday so I notice and recognize the idiosyncrasies. I can’t lie..it disturbs me sometimes. It’s a lot to take in.
There is also a lot of healing transpiring. This is great news obviously. His brain is filling in the space where the tumor was removed. We think maybe that’s the reason he is still getting seizures, because the brain is reconnecting and synapses firing off all at once and such and maybe some stress too. We are figuring out how to battle all of these symptoms and combat this disease all while trying to run a business and raise two children. I don’t even know. Who’s idea was this? HAHA. anyway..Fuck Cancer..it can suck a big fat D.
I”m trying to smoke a pre-roll we got from Pounds Prerolls and do some yoga to chill my ass out.
Our boy Church hooked us up.
Rob and I both have been trying to use physicality as our anger and rage and frustration outlets. We need to express ourselves in a healthy manner. I can’t tell you how often I find myself wanting to scream, yell, and cry..but that never really works or produces a positive outcome. I had to express to Rob this AM in the car ride to the shop that I am having trouble understanding what is going on around me as well. It’s more difficult to understand and comprehend brain recovery than you might think.
So grateful and thankful for everyones continuing and loving support. We appreciate all the love and support everyday. Thank you all from the bottom of our hearts. <3
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