Anxiety Like no Other

Well, where was I in explaining just the beginnings of hell that my family and I were about to start enduring..

Monday November 5, 2018. I was told he was going to need brain surgery, the sooner the better. We were told he could come home, do his normal thing, his normal routines. Ok cool. At least he was coming home!

He didn’t get discharged from the hospital until that following evening on November 6. It was a Tuesday night. He called me and told me I could come get him. YAY! I get to pick up my husband who hadn’t been home since that previous Thursday afternoon. He had been in there almost a week already.

I don’t know if any of you experience anxiety on a regular basis. Chances are if you live in NJ anxiety is your life. I experience anxiety on a general and daily basis. After taking him home that night, I cannot explain the level of anxiety that triggered within me waiting to find out what day and time is brain surgery would be.

Peyton and I
Rob and Peyton

We decided it would be good for us to use this time wisely and just spend it together being a family and to just try and relax.

We were told we were going to get a call with a date and time.

Flash forward to that call. Ok, maybe tomorrow.

Thursday rolls call. Ok maybe tomorrow or over the weekend.

Friday and Saturday come and go..still no call. Ok, surely we will definitely get a call on Sunday. Sunday arrives..

1:30 call..

2:30 call..

3:30 call..

4:30, 5:30, 6:30..STILL NO CALL.


At this point I had taken a ride to my parents house to hang out and try to relax. I was in the middle of watching the WFTDA championship. (For those who don’t know what that’s the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association. Roller Derby teams from all around the country and world compete for the Hydra. That’s our Stanley Cup) I took a ride with my dad to WaWa for some coffee and a chat.

7:30 rolls around and I suggest to Rob he should probably call and get the time and day of the appointment. He does and it’s a good thing he does because no one ever ended up calling him. SERIOUSLY?! That frustrates the hell out of me because what if he never made it a point to call and they never called. Would his surgery be rescheduled for a later time? Would this impact the tumor growth? Would it make things worse?

He messages me back and tells me he needs to be at the hospital at 5:00 AM the next day. Im still at my parents house at this point and it’s only getting later and later.

My parents took Peyton so that way I could be at the hospital for the surgery and recovery. She stayed with them for two days I believe.

I will start my next blog about the morning of early as tonight or as late as this upcoming Monday morning..however I’m feeling it I guess.

I’m currently sipping on my second cup of Strava Elevate CBD infused coffee. It’s making reliving this nightmare a bit easier..

To reiterate..brain surgery-scheduled to be at Robert Wood Johnson University Hospital at 5:00 am. We live an hour away..

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